I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
