i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
