My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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