doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
