I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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