Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you never un-have a 4some
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
how does that bad decision feel?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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