I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When did angry sex become our thing?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
