3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
