At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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