i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
