I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
