so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize