Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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