And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
