and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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