We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
