Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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(310): View more from California

I think I won the penis lottery.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(714): View more from California

Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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(518): View more from New York

wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.

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(907): View more from Alaska

the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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(917): View more from New York City

When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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(410): View more from Maryland

dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity

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