I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
