Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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