You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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