He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
