please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
