Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
