I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
