umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
