Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
