What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
