and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize