is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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