you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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