I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
