So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
