my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
