maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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