cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
