awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
