White coat. Heels.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
