Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
