I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
