Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
