Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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