pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize