When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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