miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
