After last night, I could never be a politician.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
