Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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