he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
