I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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