Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
