I've blown a few things in my day
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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