I'm so fucking centered right now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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