I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
