ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
