Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
