brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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