Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
