Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
