Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize