You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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