i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
