my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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