All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
