So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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