weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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