White coat. Heels.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
