Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
