I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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